Waiting

This baby is by far the hardest to wait for. It is the first time I have gone past my due date, but I don't think that's necessarily why it's hard (I have known all along that my date is iffy, although I do feel that my due date is close to correct). It is hard because I start having these really strong, close together contractions that last long enough to make me think "Yep. This is definitely the start of something." Then, a few hours later they stop. Then, they come back. Then, they stop for a few days. This has happened a few times in the past week and it's driving me crazy because even though I try not to get my hopes up, it totally gets my hopes up and at the end of it I feel totally deflated.

#1's labor was so easy in that way...when it started, I knew it and it kept going. Felt cramps around midnight, they kept coming every 10 minutes, then slowly got closer together that by 4:30 am I was sure he was on his way. Kept coming and by 8:20 the next night, I was holding him in my arms!

#2's was more like this, although I thought that there was no way any labor could top hers with the stopping and starting. God is proving me wrong I suppose! I started cramping on a Saturday morning and it continued all throughout that day. Contractions got really strong that evening and I labored until about 2:30 am...then they stopped, completely. Nothing much (Sunday) until the next evening when they started up around 5 pm or so and kept coming until about 4:30 am when they all but stopped. Woke up Monday morning to my water breaking and she was here 45 minutes later. During her labor, I remember feeling so discouraged each time it stopped. My midwife said to me "God knows when this baby needs to be born...now we just have to be patient." I remember that really rejuvenating me, even though it was still hard.

Since Friday (October 7th!!) I have had those moments where I really felt like it would turn into labor and each time it has stopped. It has been so discouraging and no matter how much I tell myself that God is in control of all of this, it is still hard. I am just feeling excited to meet my baby! I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to learn from this and I suppose it's patience. I thought I was a pretty patient person but now I am learning that perhaps my patience isn't where it should be. I now completely understand why so many women these days choose to be induced...it must be really nice not to have to wait for your baby!

So here I go, back to waiting, trying not to get my hopes up that the contractions coming tonight are the real thing...I am sure I'll still be here tomorrow, big belly and all.

For journaling purposes, I wanted to record the foods that are really good to me right now. I could basically live off of them. Even though chocolate chips are not technically GAPS-legal, I can't help it. I am craving chocolate so badly right now...so I definitely indulge!

Apples and peanut butter
Raw chocolate smoothie found on Pinterest (SO good. I make mine with coconut milk and add an avocado to make it really creamy)
Raw chocolate chip cookies
Mango fruit smoothies (the ones you buy, like the Naked brand)

I also made these crepes this morning and they were SO yummy. They might be a new craving. I ate them with berries and lemon juice and yum. I think they were a really great substitution for regular crepes. The flavor and texture were both almost completely identical to normal crepes which was a fun thing because every once in awhile I do miss grains!