Through my journey with depression and anxiety, I feel like I have learned many, many valuable lessons. Lessons that are CHANGING my life and how I view it. One thing that has helped me so much is doing the Soul Integrity Mentorship. I haven't spoken much about it yet because it has been such a personal and life changing few months, but I hope to write more about it when the time is right. Eventually I hope to teach the principles I'm learning because it's been that incredible to me.
Another thing that I have realized throughout my journey to the dark is the power our thoughts and words have over us. It is not easy when you're in a really depressed or anxious state to have positive thoughts - and when I was in my low states, even having someone mention to me that I could change my thoughts stung much too painfully - but, it is truly amazing how much our thoughts and beliefs affect us. Learning to recognize my thoughts and change them has been such an amazing practice for me. Lately, I have been letting the negative thoughts take over strongly in my head, so this is a way for me to really let out what those thoughts are and attempt to replace them with positive affirmations. I hope if you're struggling with negative thoughts, you can give positive affirmations a try. "I AM" are two of the most powerful words you will ever say to yourself.
This time around, I am experiencing some emotions that I didn't experience with my previous three pregnancies. Well, maybe I experienced them, but this time they seem stronger...heightened.
First, I always have major body image issues creep up when I'm pregnant. Obviously there are some underlying emotions there that I need to work on. When I see other pregnant women I just LOVE their bodies and their big bellies! Like, LOVE THEM! But on me, it's so much harder. In one breath, I absolutely LOVE my big belly and in another breath, it's so very difficult to really love it.
I have been thinking about what it is that I don't love about it and I think it is actually the weight gain, more than the big belly itself. The weight gain in pregnancy is very difficult for me. I tend to gain (in my mind) a lot of weight when I'm pregnant. I don't just gain 20-25 or even 30 pounds. I am already up to 32 pounds and have 8 weeks left...so I'll probably get to 40 or more. Which, when I write it out isn't THAT bad, but in my mind, it might as well be 100 pounds. That is how negative my mind views weight gain. I was talking to my midwife about this today and she suggested some affirmations to help me combat these negative thoughts. I thought I'd write them here and share them in case anyone else struggles with this same thing in pregnancy.
My body will gain just the right amount of weight for my body to have a healthy pregnancy.
I am growing a healthy baby.
My body is working a miracle.
My growing belly is holding a precious baby.
My body is healthy and wise.
My weight doesn't change my worth.
The weight will fall off easily just like it has the other three times.
There is more to me than the size of my body.
I am also struggling this time with the feeling of being DONE. I have never really experienced that before. Of course, at the end of Olive, I felt this way but that's because she was "overdue." I have never experienced these feelings of done-ness at such an early stage. If I am being honest with myself, I've felt done since about mid-December. Obviously not cool when you have MONTHS left in your pregnancy! I have tried to figure out why I'm feeling this way and I just can't really put my finger on it. I don't feel depressed or anxious or any emotions like that, I just feel done. Ready to be me again. Sick of being pregnant. Which is just SO SO odd for me to experience because I never feel that way...I am usually the person saying how much I LOVE pregnancy. It has been an interesting journey to say the least. Here are some affirmations for myself to get me through these emotions.
My baby will come when he is ready to come.
My body is growing a beautiful, healthy baby.
I am cherishing these last weeks growing this baby.
I am patient and giving my baby love as I await for him to arrive.
Have you experienced this? Do you have any affirmations or thoughts to add?